He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
