Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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