If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
