and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
