dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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