I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
