best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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