I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
