i barfeds in our rink
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
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