Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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