I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
