the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
