Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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