Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
All I want is dick and wine.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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