operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
