i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
