I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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