How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
