Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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