It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
