no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
