This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
God, you're like boner-b-gone
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
