I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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