why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
How does one acquire holy water?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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