i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
