Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
