I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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