everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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