Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
