i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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