I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
