She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
