Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
