I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
