One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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