As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
