The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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