he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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