yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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