turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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