I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
