well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
