Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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