your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
