Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
