just come out here and I will go home with you...
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
