At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Randomize
