If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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