yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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