She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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