"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I have grass duct taped all over my body
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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